For 2023, I am looking for more solidity. Something foundational, basic - a framework upon which I can prop up and build other aspects of my life. I suppose that a way to think about it is in the context of goals; far too often I feel like I am wasting time rather than living intentionally, swept up by currents that I often see coming but whose course and final destination I cannot fathom.
Yet in themselves goals cannot possibly achieve this. At best they are milestone markers of events that occurred prior, up to the point when they are complete, and at worst simply reminders of all the things that were not accomplished. My interest here is far more organic, to have something that is growing and always present, not in the future or the past.
Perhaps a different way of thinking about it is in terms of story or narrative. One aspect that attracts me a lot from narrative arcs is that they feel coherent, that there is not wasted breath - think of Chekhov and his gun. There may be specific goals in narrative, but nobody reads fiction because of milestones within the story itself: the narratives are in constant motion. I understand that life itself is not structured in such a way necessarily, but even an approximation would be well received.
I know I have been yearning for this for a little while now. In 2022 I experienced a slow drop-off from open world RPG games. For instance: I enjoy Elite Dangerous, but there is no personal narrative. Sure one can upgrade ships and the like, and there are definitely galaxy-wide events and stories happening, but as an individual player I feel very static.
Likewise for other CRPGs. It does not matter to me very much whether my stats go up or down, or what equipment I find. Achievements feel like a waste of time (except that I am often compelled to be completionist!). All of this is irrelevant outside the imperative context of a narrative-driven experience, as far as I’m concerned. Take Spider-Man: Remastered or Metro: Exodus. Both games are single-player, open world RPGs. But the RPG aspect is minimal; sure stats upgrade, new guns are acquired, etc. But for the most part I always played with default skins, default load-outs, default everything. I did not care: I was far more interested in having an active part of the narrative.
Although I don’t think I did too badly in 2022, I do want to make sure I spend more time reflecting on the books and articles I read. It somehow doesn’t feel like enough to simply read a lot, if none of that literature is processed and incorporated somehow (and without active use, much of what I read is quickly forgot). Ideally, whenever reading I’d like to figure out workflows and processes to incorporate note-taking and knowledge processing into a more active system.